I am peripherally involved in a mom fight over the sale of Girl Scout Cookies, and I'm super excited about it.
Since I'm kind of anti-social, I don't usually hang out in a "mom crowd." When H was a baby, I got into a couple little mom groups and very quickly decided that it wasn't for me (like I don't want to discuss where you're getting portraits taken of your kid, what you did at your last Junior League meeting, what's on sale at Pottery Barn, or what nipple balm is working best for you). Additionally, H is decidedly non-athletic (she's only 7 and already she's quit basketball, gymnastics, and karate--yes, we let her quit because it was embarrassing when the other parents would say, "which one is your kid?" and we had to reply, "the one crying at the half-court line" or "the one crying under the balance beam" or "the one crying in the improperly tied white belt"), so we haven't been in any of the soccer-mom-type fights that seem so fun when my friend K talks about them.
Anyway, I was thrilled yesterday when my friend C (even the initials have been changed to protect the innocent and guilty) emailed me and I discovered that unbeknownst to myself, I had gotten involved in Cookie Fight 2009!
Here's what happened in December--I went to pick up H from her idiotic Brownie meeting, and there was an ambush! Before you could sign your kid out, you had to sit down and attend the cookie sale meeting. Now, I HATE meetings, and I'm not kidding. I REALLY hate meetings--they make my head explode--fo' real. I especially do not enjoy being ambushed into attending a meeting that I would have absolutely sent my husband (who is a MUCH better Brownie mom that I am) to attend had I known it was going to occur, so I wasn't planning to be particularly nice in the meeting anyway. Then my friend C sits down beside me, and we were being a little bit (and, really, only a little bit) rowdy during the meeting.
The meeting was being run by J, and I will tell you in no uncertain terms that I do not like J. She is tacky, obnoxious, kind of stupid, and potentially violent (she seems like she might take a punch if you look at her wrong). Additionally, J has absolutely NO idea how to run a meeting. She rambles, gives unnecessary examples of things that are obvious, skims over the stuff that is crucial, and refuses to clarify things when people ask her questions.
So C and I kind of tuned out at one point and were talking about our plans to meet at the Christmas Open House at the Public Library. Then, and I am NOT making this up, J kicked C on the foot and told her to pay attention. Kicked her! It was really weird, and kind of shocked us into silence.
ANYWAY, that meeting finally ended, and I figured that would be the end of it until February when I'd have to haul my ass all over town selling Thin Mints, Do-si-dos, and Simoas (p.s. email me if you're interested).
Then yesterday I got an email from C that forwarded me an email from J (I have to say, that J THINKS I'm on her email list, and it LOOKS like I'm on her email list, but she somehow doesn't do it right--go figure--so I never get her emails--which may explain why I was the only one complaining of ambush at the December meeting). Her email announced that there would be a mandatory meeting at the library this Saturday to discuss cookie sales because "at the previous meeting some parents were unable to hear due to talking and other interference." WTF!?!?!?
Anyway, my first reaction is to laugh, but the more I think about it the more pissed off I get because
1. that meeting was insanely unorganized.
2. not one single thing was made more clear by anything J said in that meeting, and it was NOT because we were talking.
3. it was held, like, more than a month before we're even eligible to sell the cookies so why have it then?
4. AND I hate Girl Scouts anyway, esp. going to meetings and selling cookies.
*** I LIKE mom fights--it's exciting!!! Stay tuned for more!!! ***
Giant condoms are sweet! no.
12 hours ago